in the winter

i want winter to stop being so hard. i want it to be a saturday morning in early june. i want to be sitting in front of pancakes and eggs and a fresh cup of coffee. i want to talk to and romp around with my friends. i want to bare my shoulders to the sun shining down. i want to put the windows up and feel warm again. i want to create beautiful arrangements full of bright flowers and string words into beautiful sentences full of wonder. i want my favorite songs to always sound magical and i want home to always feel safe. i want to stop feeling uneasy. i want something to feel permanent. i want things and conversations and relationships to have meaning. i want to know what to do. i want to stop being skeptical and worrisome. i want to make people feel important and loved, and i want to feel important and loved. i want all of these things, and i want winter to stop being so damn hard.